THECURSINGCOOK.COM

And sometimes we do GF/CF too!

2011-03-30T21:35:00Z

We're just full of diet advice! We sometimes do Gluten Free Casin free food too. I really hate the idea of giving up all my breads and yummies on the Paleo diet. I mix and match when I can. Right now I am making GF (Not CF but you could totally use Almond milk or soy milk in place of milk) Banana Walnut Muffins. I learned my most favoritest GF flour mix from This Lovely Cooking Couple who don't know I exists! But they are amazing and pioneers in the GF/CF field. They are the first (I've read anyway) to suggest you don't need binders like Xanthum gum as a binder. Keeping it real bitches!

Anyway, you need to make up a batch of their flour mix. I used this time Oat Flour, Quinoa Flour and potato flour. I'm pretty sure I should be using potato starch instead of potato flour but thats ok. I'll try that next time.

This part of the recipe I stole directly from them. I don't apologize. It's too good.

350 grams whole-grain flour mix
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
180 grams deark brown sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
2 eggs
300 grams half and half. (They use buttermilk.)
100 grams grapeseed oil
handful walnuts

Preheat the oven to 350*. Grease a large muffin tin thoroughly.

I added 3 very ripe bananas to make it a banana walnut muffin. I greased my muffin tins with baking spray and scooped the mix into tins and baked them for 20 to 25 minutes. They still feel a bit moist when done and will spring back when touched. Beware! They're hot!

A schmear of peanut butter or honey, or butter if you're feeling frisky!

I'll update with other peoples reviews! Hopefully they don't suck LOL!

Pimpin' Paleo

2011-03-28T22:57:00Z

What is Paleo you ask? WELL! Let me tell you! It’s a lifestyle change (Don’t say DIET. People get upset.) where you cut out grains, sugars, salt. Basically anything a Paleolithic man wouldn’t have access too. Those crackers you love? Totally out. Forget cheese. No cave man was making cheese when he wasn’t busy hunting or beating his cave mate. Beans? Not a chance Ese. And bread…. And pasta…. Are never more yours….

Lean meats? Check. Not bacon.

Seafood? CHECK!

Fruits and Veggies? Absolutely!

I know, I know, it seems restricting. AND! There are more requirements. It would ideally like you to eat as organically, locally, non-hormone, no antibiotic, free range as possible. I know it seems very fru fru. TRUST ME. And costly! Oh, so costly. Once you start building up the staples of the diet it’s less painful than you’d think. There are several options for frozen Organic veggies. I shop for meat at my Local Farm. If you’re lucky you can find a local farm that does all organic, grass fed beef and no antibiotic, no hormone chickens. I am very lucky and I know it. (They have Raw Milk too, but I’m a’scared of it. They say it is delicious but can make you sicky sick sick. Does anyone ever wonder who decided that we should drink cow milk after we were weaned? How’d that conversation go?? Wow, that’s playing out in my head and I’m not sure I like it….)

I am hoping to either Co-op this summer at a local organic place or buy more at our farmers market and try my hand at freezing and canning local stuff to save on costs. If it works out (or if it doesn’t) I’m sure I’ll be filling you all in! I really kind of wish for a larger apartment, or at least one with a few more closets so I had more space for food! As it is I am commandeering my jacket closet for a pantry. If you’re lucky I’ll take pics, if you’re unlucky I won’t organize it first! I have considered putting another shelf unit in my storage space for canned goods but going 4 floors for a can of beans seems a wee bit ridiculous. Plus, they’ll be hard to explain the next time we go to move.

Hey Kasia, how come you have enough canned veggies for the apocalypse??

Ummmmmmmmmmm………………… they’re organic?

Almost sounds like I am turning Mormon and storing food for the next 3 years doesn’t it? I know I am sounding more and more crazy. Trust me. I know. You should see my selection of flours that aren’t actually Flour….. Or my cook book collection! But hey, if the Zombie apocalypse happens I’ll know how to cook with a wood stove, how to make bread and how to preserve food! People will wanna hang out then huh??

Once I master canning, And Damnedable Bread it’ll be on to meat. Hopefully I have a few years because yeast bread and me aren’t friends yet. As a matter of fact I kinda hate yeast and its persnickety nature.

WOW. This has turned into the rambelings of a potential crazy person! Anyway, Hoiw about a Paleo Meatloaf recipe? It’s pretty tasty.

Meatloaf. So easy a Caveman can do it.

1 container mushrooms. I like Baby bellas.

½ White or Spanish onion

1 Small Bunch Celery

1 Egg

2 lbs Beef

1 Small bottle of Red wine. (one of the 4 packs)

Pepper

1 TBS Oregano

1 TBS Parsley

1 TBS Basil

1 TBS Sage

1 TBS Rosemary

You can use fresh herbs in place of the dried; just use about ½ the amount.

Preheat your oven to 350

Chop the mushrooms and onion to a fine dice. Add a dollop of olive oil to a large skillet and heat it to medium. Toss in the mushrooms and unions and sauté them for a few minutes. Add half your spices and the whole bottle of red wine. Give them a swirl with a wooden spoon and cook them down until they are nice and soft. I personally like to strain them at this point. Some people will say you’re missing a lot of flavor, which is true but I don’t like sloppy wet meat, especially since I don’t bake this is a loaf pan. I use a rectangle cake pan that way all the sides get cooked and just drape a piece of tin foil over the top so all the good juice don’t escape.

Once your mushrooms and onions have cooled off enough to handle dump that in with the beef, and chop up the celery to suit. I just gave it a rough dice but if you want it more incorporated go ahead and dice it as fine as you’d like. Toss the celery in, the rest of the spices and the egg. Mix it together with your hands. Yes, get your sissy little girl hands in there and mix it up. Make sure to take all rings and bracelets off unless you’d like to spend the time while this is cooking fishing raw meat out of them.

Plop this mix onto your pan and shape. I like to make it about 2 inches thick and a rectangle. Work with your pan so it’s not touching any of the sides. Once it’s the shape you want it to be (seriously, you could make animal shapes if you really wanted) tin foil it loosely and pop it in the oven. Walk away for 40 minutes or so. You can use a meat thermometer to test to make sure it’s done, but I can tell you, it is. Pull it out of the oven and carefully remove it from the pan leaving all the juice. I made gravy with mine. I used a packaged organic brown gray mix that did the trick in a hurry. If you want you could just use cornstarch. Either way make sure to bring it to a boil so it thickens. And that’s it! Paleo Meatloaf. I roasted some carrot sticks and had a salad on the side for a filling paleo dinner.

Cheesecake?? No wait! More than JUST Cheesecake??

2010-08-31T01:41:18Z

Really? Do we know ANYONE who doesn't love a good cheesecake? Uhhhh......... no. That'd be DUMB.

Now, who has had REAL Red Velvet Cake? Noooo, real red velvet cake. I haven't yet been able to find a good recipe with the beets (oooooooh but I will, have nooooo doubt) but I did do one from scratch that was pretty fantastic. Exceprt, did you know Sifting sucks? It DOES! 2 1/4 cup of Cake flour and 1 1/12 cup of sugar plus incidentals? THATS AN ASS TON OF SIFTING. Just Sayin'. I'm gonna give you the recipe anyway. It's a good impressor for other people with just a bunch of stuff but pretty simple to assemble. You just need to start At Least one day ahead. Minimum.

Now because the Cheesecake needs to be made a day ahead, that recipe first. I have a bunch of different recipes that I use depending on the kind of cheesecake I want. For this it's Ricotta. You need a good, heavy cake. New York Style.

Turn your oven on to 350.

1 3/4 Bar of Cream Cheese

1 1/2 Cups of Sugar (I always double the sugar. Something My Dunk taught me)

2 TBS Vanilla

1/2 Tub Of Ricotta. Whole Milk Please, People. We're not making a "Light" desert here.

1/2 Teaspoon Lemon Juice

2 Large Eggs

Pinch of salt

Line the bottom of your spring form pan with Parchment paper since you won't be using a crust. POur your cheesecake mix in and give it a leeeeetle wiggle to even it out.

Get out a deep roaster and pop a cookie rack in the bottom. Pour in enough water to coat the bottom of the pan. Loosely wrap your cheesecake bottom in foil and place on top of the rack. That's supposed to help with cracking, personally I think it helps not smoke up the kitchen as liquid drips out the bottom of the spring form and doesn't burn on the bottom of the oven.

I usually bake for at least an hour depending on how thick the cake is. Being so thin i did just over an hour until the middle wasn't all liquid and shut the heat off. You may be against me on this since EGGS! Cream Cheese!!! Ricotta!! POISON! but I leave it in the oven over night to set. Yes, overnight. With out refrigeration. In the Oven! OHHH NOEEEEES!! First thing in the morning I tossed it in the fridge and waited at least 4 hours. After that I put it in the freezer. You'll want it nice and solid for removal and placement on the cake part. OOOOh yeeeeeah here come the goods!

The Cake. Please don't go buy a red velvet mix. PLEASE?? It's just not the same. Plus you'll feel better when people are telling you how good your cake is if you made it from scratch. Trust me. Plus, if you're really an ass (Like me) you can tell them YOU MADE IT FROM SCRATCH and they get more impressed! Impressive, no??

2 1/2 Cups Cake Flour. Yes, CAKE FLOUR. It's important. (There's a substitute I'll give you at the end)

1 1/2 Cups Sugar

1 Tsp Baking Soda

1 Tbsp Cocoa powder (Hershey's works fine)

1 Tsp Salt

2 Eggs

1 1/2 Cup Vegi Oil. NO SUBSTITUTIONS PLEASE. THIS IS NOT HEALTH FOOD. FUCK YOUR APPLESAUCE.

1 Cup Buttermilk (If you don't have it but have regular milk I'll show you how to make buttermilk.)

1 Entire Tube Red Gel Food Color (I know it's not beets. I want that recipe but haven't found it yet!)

1 TBS White Distilled Vinegar

Frosting: As always I use Cream Cheese Frosting. Just in this instance I do a crumb coat first of thinner icing so the red cake isn't all up in the shit. Nice Clean Frosting is what you want here.

Thinner frosting:

1 1/2 Bricks of Cream Cheese

Powder Sugar to taste

1 TBS of Vanilla

Heavy cream, Milk or half and half for a thinner. You want a slightly runnier frosting for the crumb coat so you don't peel that pretty pretty red cake into it. Mmmmmmm...........

(Once you've crumb coated you can just toss in more sugar and more bricks of cream cheese and vanilla to make thicker frosting. Just try not to transfer crumbs back to the bowl when crumb coating)

I made my cakes the same night as my Cheesecake too. It's not necessary though.

Heat oven to 350.

Sift together flour, sugar, baking soda, cocoa, and salt into a medium bowl. It takes forever I know but don't skimp! It's Necessary.

In another bowl beat together Eggs, Oil, Buttermilk, Food Color (Careful! It stains!), and vinegar in a large bowl until well combined. Add dry ingredients a little at a time so you don't have a dust cloud and mix until well combined.

Divide batter between two 9inch (greased & floured/non stick/ whatev) pans and bake 25 to 30 minutes. Your toothpick will never come out of these cakes clean. If they do, throw the cakes away, you've over cooked them dummy.

Take them out and let them cool for 5 or 10 minutes then pop em out of their pans and let them cook on racks. Check leveling and trim if necessary.

When I was researching the cake I kept coming across these things called Cake Strips. People said they make the cakes Flat. FLAT. Flat cakes. As in I don't have to trim the tops off and lose precious cakey goodness?? I'd try 'em!

Ya know what?

THEY WORK! I don't know how, I think it's magic, but they do! Flat cakes for the first time ever. I was in heaven!

I assembled my cake after the cheesecake was frozen and after I had chilled my cake cake.

Take your first layer of Red Velvet Cake and plop it down on your cake tray. Make sure to get it centered, there are no do overs. Next comes the cheesecake. Now a 9inch spring-form is the same size as a cake pan, but cake shrinks and pulls away from the edge ever so much and makes the cake and cheesecake not line up absolutely proper. You have options here. You can opt to trim the cheesecake or fill it with icing. Either way.

Once you get the top layer on you can crumb coat it and pop it back in the fridge. I finished mine once it was no longer tacky, but if I was making a presentation cake I'd have waited 4 hours or more before I frosted the final coat.

If you frost in while the cheesecake is still frozen and want to serve it soon, leave it on the counter for 2 hours or so, the cheesecake thaws fairly quickly. So far I've got rave reviews! Hopefully you will too!!

Qu'ils mangent de la brioche!!!

2010-07-05T22:53:00Z

I SAY LET THEM EAT CAKE!

On the fourth of july…..

Cuz I’m cool like that. I’m an enabler. It’s what I do.

Don’t come near me if you’re on a diet, I’m a Ruiner, with a Capitol R.

Now, I usually make a Orange Dreamsicle cake if I’m trying to show off, but being the Fourth of July and all I thought I’d take a stab at a Strawberry Sunday Crunch Bar cake. Make that a layer cake. With macerated strawberries in the middle and frosting. Mmmm….. Sounds yummy. Lets get to it!

1 White Box Cake Mix. From such humble beginnings comes a masterpiece….

1 Box Cheesecake pudding mix

1Small Box Strawberry Jell-o mix

2 Large Boxes Fresh Strawberries

Sugar

Frosting:

4 Philly Cream Cheese's

Most of a Bag of Powdered sugar

Cheese Cake Pudding Mix

Milk or Half and Half

Make a regular old white cake. Box cake is fine. Make it according to direction, or add some Cheesecake pudding powder, or more vanilla. I’m going to. I’m using two 8 inch cake pans.

Once it comes out of the oven (while it’s still warm) take a toothpick and poke tiny little holes everywhere! All over the cake! Mix your strawberry jell-o with hot water and pour it over both of the cakes. Now cool in the a’fridgabator over night. You’ll want them nice and set when they come out of the pan.

Move down, move down! Next seat! Next seat!

Make sure your cream cheese’s are out getting warmed up for the mixing that’s going to happen! That, my dears, is very important. Cold cream cheese is a bitch to mix!

About an hour before you want to start assembling your cake get your berries out of the fridge and clean them up. Slice one container of them how ever you want and toss them. into a bowl. Sprinkle them with sugar to get them breaking down really well. The other box will be used for decorating the top so clean those and do what you will with them!

After about 30 minutes give the sugared strawberries a good mash with a tater masher. Just break them down a bit and re-sugar those bad boys. MMmmmmm……. Sugared strawberries…..

Now get your cakes out of the a’fridgabator. Get the bottom layer out of it’s pan, it should be reeeeeally heavy. Full of jell-o! Now, here’s the question. Do you take a knife and flatten your cake? Just level it off or leave it all roundy and bulbous, as if it were pregnant?? Flip a coin!

Take the strawberries you macerated and pour them on the bottom layer of the cake! MMMMMM…… Now, carefully! Spread frosting over the strawberries. I know, this part is tough. Have patients and perseverance! YOU CAN DO EEET!! Now, gently settle the top layer on the frosting and give a gentle smoosh to settle the cake. Again, do you level?? I am just so torn on the subject! Make it Beeeyyyooooteful?? Or don’t waste all that cake?

Now give it a good frost with your icing and decorate it how ever you’d like! Mmmmmm……….!

The Addendum.

2010-07-02T00:56:00Z

Well, so........ I thought you should know.

I mean, I would want to know if I was in your shoes..............

I would want to be told..........

The Truth...............

The Whole Truth.....................

The Honey Mustard glazed chicken reheated so well. It needed more sauce though, So next time I'll double the sauce and maybe supplement the liquid with OJ. You could even make a pan sauce the next day with chicken stock. But it definitely needed more Juice.

The Capt put Sriracha on his and his eyes rolled back in his head. He said it was like sweet and sour chicken, but better.

So, really, make this chicken. Eat it. MMmmmmm gggahahahahaaaa droooooooooolllll!

Honey Dijon Chicken Over Rice

2010-06-29T23:57:00Z

Oh dear.... this is the time of year when I start running out of ideas for dinner. This is when google is Mah Frien'. I did a basic search tonight for Boneless Skinless Chicken and came up with a Honey Dijon Chicken recipe I tweaked. Here's the basics.

4 to 6 boneless skinless chicken breast cut into medallions
1/4 cup honey
2 tablespoons lime juice, from a bottle
2 tablespoons soy sauce
5 teaspoon Dijon mustard
3 teaspoons Apple Cider Vinegar
3 heaping spoonfuls of chopped garlic (or to taste)

Salt & Pepper

Toss your chicken medallions in the sauce and marinade if you like. I made this on the fly so I poured it right in the baking dish and swished it around.

Fire up your oven to 350. Remember to pre heat. No need to cover the dish, toss it right in the oven. Turn them to coat about every 20 minutes, bake for about 45. Just until the juice runs clear.

(I know! They are in a dish of sauce! Its hard to tell! you'll figure it out! I swear!)

Make sure to put some rice on! I like Basamati or Jasmine rice for this. No sticky rice, but brown rice would be delicious too.

Once you are sure they are cooked pull the dish out of the oven. Pop the chicken onto a plate and fire up a burner under the chicken pan. We're going to turn it into a delicious glaze. Plop in.... oh....... a teaspoon or so of corn starch. Make sure to have your whisk handy, you'll need to start stirring right away. Don't want lumpy bits. Now, with cornstarch it's important to remember you'll need to boil it in order to activate it into thickening. You don't have to stir the whole time, but I wouldn't go far. It happens in a flash.

Once it's all thick and glaze like, toss your chicken back in and toss to coat. Serve Immediately over your Rice and a nice veggie. Fresh ones are coming in season so mix it up! Cauliflower with olive oil, garlic, smoked paprika and garm marsala.......... Fire roasted Zucchini with parmesan and garlic........ roasted broccoli........ corn.... a salad........ I'm getting hungry again.... *DROOL*

You could even crack a bottle of white wine to serve with this dinner! Happy Eating!

Need a little pick me up? How about some Chocolate?

2010-06-20T13:58:00Z

So I was introduced to these cookies by some neighbors recently and they are awesome, but not for a late night snack! Insoooomnia! I was flitting about the interwebs and saw a recipe for these and thought they'd be tasty and Wouldn't you just know it? My Scientists brought some home from this posh little place called Tabora. So I figured what the hell! I'll give em a twirl! Get some peeps all jacked on sugar and espresso!

Double Chocolate Espresso Cookies

Did you die yet? mmmmmm I think I did. Here we gooooooo!

1 Cup Flour

1/2 Cup Unsweetened Dutch-Processed Cocoa

( I don't know what all that means. I used Nestle's Toll House Cocoa. Perfect for Baking! I know because it says so on the box!)

1/2 teaspoon Baking Power

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 Cup Buttah (1 stick), Room Temp. It Is Important People!

1 1/2 Cup White Sugar

2 Large (Not extra Large or Medium) eggs, AGAIN! Room Temp!!

1 Teaspoon Vanilla

1 Tablespoon Espresso Powder (I used Starbucks Extra Bold Instant Coffee Packets.)

8 Oz Bitter Sweet Chocolate (4 Oz Melted, 4 Oz Chopped)

Preheat oven to 350, with racks in upper and lower thirds. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt; set aside.
Using an electric mixer, beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition; mix in vanilla. Combine espresso powder and melted chocolate; beat into butter mixture. With mixer on low, gradually add flour mixture; mix just until combined. Fold in chopped chocolate.
Drop dough by two heaping tablespoons, 3 inches apart, onto two baking sheets. Bake until edges are dry, 14 to 15 minutes, rotating sheets halfway through. Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool completely. (To store, keep in an airtight container at room temperature, up to 3 days.)

** The Directions Came Directly from Martha Steward's Web Site. I absolutely always follow all directions.

Well, I try to when baking. It's less like creating and more like Science.

I made a double batch and in the second half I tossed in some chopped pecans. Mmmmm....... they were delicious!

Lostrocities!

2010-05-16T19:31:57Z

Lobsters. Fresh Lobsters.

MMMmmmmmmm......................

Did you know they fight back? Really! They don't scream so much but they kick like hell when you put em in the pot!

So The Capt's student brought them back from Maine for us. Fresh out of the water this morning. They are FEISTY.

So you get the Lostrocities out of the box and rinse em off in the sink. Clip the rubber bands off their big ass pinchers. Watch your fingers.

Heat up your largest pot full of water. They need to be fully submerged. Once it's boiling take some tongs and put the LIVE lobstrocities in the water face first. Kills em quicker that way.

Watch! They thrash a bit!

Cook them for 16 to 18 minutes. Then pop em into a strainer to cool.

Deeeeelish!

The Big claw legs and the tail are really all you eat. Make sure to have a hammer or some crackers near by, those claws are tough to break!!

Fancy Green Beans

2010-05-09T16:49:00Z

Green beans. Bacon.

What could be better?

Get out a big ass pan. I like my cast iron pan for this.

Take 5 or so strips of bacon and cook em up. Nice and crisp. Pop them out of the pan on some paper towels. Toss in your fresh green beans with a hunk of butter and liberally salt them with kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper.

Toss them around and get them good and coated. Lid that pretty pan, watching to make sure they don't burn. Toss them occasionally. after about 5 minutes get them off the heat and let them wilt.

Thats it!

Put them in a serving dish and check for saltiness. Add if necessary. You could even toast some almond slivers for garnish.

I bet it's be good with carrots... or broccoli raab... or shard..... Mmmmmm..........

76 days?? Really??

2010-05-09T15:26:00Z

Has it really been 76 days since I posted?

Well let me just fix that for you. I'm going to give you the very bestest taters I know how to make, and man are they versatile. I stole the base recipe from PW. She cooks tasty shit.

So you take a bag of those sweet little red baby taters and check them over for bad bits. Once they're all cleaned up just lay them out on a baking sheet an pop them in the oven at 350 till they're nice and soft.

Once they're soft take your tater masher and make them flat. Chop up whatever herbs you happen to have, I like rosemary. Take a stick of butter. Top all those delicious flat tater s with a hunk of butter, sprinkle some herbs on top with kosher salt.

Crank your heat up to 450 and toss them back in to the oven until they are nice and crisp. Mmmmmm....

You can roast some garlic and mix that in the butter if you want. Roasted Garlic flat taters.......

or .....

Use Thyme........

Or cheese......... mmmmmm........ parm would be wonderful...................

Or mix some herbs in some sour cream and top them with that.....

You know your missing spring when all your meals are veggies

2010-02-23T02:33:00Z

So i designed a recipe based on some of the ideas I got out of Food Rules by Micheal Pollan. There are alot of really interesting ideas in that book. I revamped the recipe after I made it the first time. I'll give you the edits after the recipe.

Roasted Root Vegetables with Pasta in a Roasted Garlic & White Wine Sauce

Veggies:
Carrots
parsnip
celery root
sweet potatoes (Or regular ones if you prefer)
corn
cauliflower
broccoli
Garlic, crushed

Sauce:
Small Diced Mushrooms (portabella, shitake, oyster whatever you like)
Small Diced Shallots
whole head of garlic for roasting
White wine
4 or so Sprigs of Thyme, stripped from the stems
2 TBS Butter
3/4 Cup of Heavy Cream or Half & Half (room temp-ish)
1 Whole Lemon, juiced
White Pepper
Dash of Nutmeg

Cut just the top off a head of garlic. Place in the middle of a piece of foil. Drizzle with olive oil and wrap up. Toss in oven and roast until smooshy.

Take all cylinder like veggies and make coins of them. Peel and chunk Sweet taters and celery root and piece out the broccoli and cauliflower. Coat it all in olive oil, garlic and kosher salt, roasted at 350, tossing once or twice to make sure nothing sticks and everything gets good color. Maybe 45 min or so. The corn will not take as long to roast so toss that in about the last 20 minutes or so.

Whist they roast boil your noodlies. I'm going to recommend a small noodle. Pastina or orrechi, maybe macaroni, Alphabets even, just until cooked through. Aaaaaand drain, reserving 1 cup of cooooking liquid.

To Mak-a Da Sauce!

Get your head of Garlic out of the Foil wrapper. It's gonna be slimy. Squeeze all the garlicy goodness into your pan for the sauce. Add your butter and smoosh the garlic and butter together as it melts. Once its all incorporated toss in your onion and mushrooms and sprinkle with a dash of kosher salt. It helps the mushrooms release the liquid in em. Swish em around to get every one coated in buttery goodness. Lid that bitch and let it cook (Pay attention so as not to burrrrn Ze Onions!), give them a swirl every so often. Once the onions are translucent and the mushrooms look a little wilty pour in a cup or so of white wine and 4 or so sprigs of thyme leaves. Bring it to a slow boil and slightly reduce the sauce, about 10 minutes. Reduce heat to a simmer.... wait until it's no longer boiling (*IMPORTANT do not pour in milk products while it boiling) and slowly, stirring constantly stir in the heavy cream, then the lemon juice and season to taste with white pepper and a dash of nutmeg. Taste for salt.

Turn the heat off. Get your veggies out of the oven and dump in with drained pasta and top with the sauce. Wah-la! it's food!

You could eat it as is, or pour it into a casserole and top with bread crumbs or crushed roasted veggie ritz (my fav) on top with a little parm and toss it back in the oven to get a nice crust.

It could be a main dish!

It could be a side dish!

You could add Chicken if you desire meat.

You could have it with Fish.

Or with a steak. Whatever you choose!

I read something recently which strikes a cord with me.

Eat Food. Mostly Plants.* The author stipulates that the food we eat isn't food anymore, that it's so over processed it's no longer good for us. And also that Meat shouldn't be the main portion of a meal, that traditionally meat was a treat. Once maybe twice a week you'd have Chicken. So, I'm going to make an effort to eat better.

More Veggies, Less Meat.

*Food Rules, Micheal Pollan

I found the parsnip to be better on the side than mixed in but otherwise a tasty dish!

Next up I'll be competing against My Beloved Husbands Mom-Mom's infamous meatloaf. Wish me luck and V8.

Mmmmm.... Shanky goodness

2010-01-31T20:52:00Z

Here's What You Need...

4 Beef or Veal Shanks

1 big ass can of tomato sauce

4- 5 carrots

2 onions

TBS garlic

salt & pepper

parsley

oregano

2 cups White Wine

Stock

Rinse and pat dry your shanks. Liberally salt and pepper them.

Heat olive oil in the bottom of your dutch or oven safe pan. Place shanks season side down to brown. Season other side while we wait.... and FlIP! Do 2 at a time, or however many you can get flat in your pan. Mine were LARGE.

Set them aside for now.

Once they are all browned saute the carrots, onion, and garlic for 10 minutes or so. Toss in the wine to deglaze.. stir cook cook....add the tomato sauce and stirrrrrrr some more.....

Once it's all combined return those shanks to the pan making sure everyone gets a good dunk in the sauce. Add stock to get to where you need to be, about all the way covered.

Pop it in the oven at 275 for round about 2 1/2 hours. Make sure to check the liquid levels during the cooking. The occasional baste might be necessary.

Make sure you don't dump the marrow out during all the jostling. It really is delicious, Mmmmmmm.... I was always afraid it'd be gritty but it was lovely. I served this with well seasoned rice, but you could do buttered egg noodles too.

It has a very clean simple taste, if you are looking for a more complex dish you'll need to spice it up. A little red pepper flake, a bay leaf, some fresh thyme or sage (or BOTH) some roasted veggies.... the possibilities are endless!

Ya know I forgot something.

2009-12-06T15:02:00Z

This is going to sound sooooo cliché! So bourgeois! I watched that damned movie, Julie & Julia and don't you know it made me acknowledge what I'm doing wrong. I forgot I don't always get it right on the first try. I don't always make the perfect chicken or perfect soup and I have melt downs and MAN do I toss shit that comes out terrible. And even my fool proof recipes are some times not fool proof. It doesn't make me a bad cook. We all have bad days or bad ingredients. No Kidding huh?

I was tempted to post this recipe and go with it, but there is trial and error to tell you about. The first time I roasted whole carrots and the second time I diced them and saute'd them with onions until they were soft. I think I prefer the roasted variety, they aren't so sweet and this soup has plenty of sweet. It was plenty good as a sweet soup with The Scientist's garlic naan, but I prefer a roastier flavor that you get with roasted chunks of carrot.

Never be afraid to change a recipe to suit you! Even now I am considering GARLIC Roasted carrots for a rounder flavor, maybe with WHOLE CLOVES of garlic or even a WHOLE HEAD roasted and blended in! Who knows! I am,sometimes, such a rebel ya know.... A down right Maverick if you will, don'tcha know. The possibilities are endless.

Maybe the most important thing for you to know:

Each recipe you ever come across is just a base, a starting point waiting for you to make it YOUR Recipe.

Change it up to suit you. Never look at a recipe and wonder if yours tastes the way it's supposed to. Do YOU like it? Are the textures and flavors appealing to you? Then it's a hit!

OK, that's my sage advice. Sorry. The movie has made me want to be and do and cook MORE! YAY! *fucking sparklers*

Butternut Squash Soup

Soup

4 Large Shallots, or 1 Large Onion Diced

1 - 2 Garlic Cloves, Minced

3 Medium Carrots

1 Large Butternut Squash (or 2 Small), Halved

Veggie Stock ( or chicken, that'll work too)

1/4 TSP Nutmeg, Cinnamon, Ginger (dry or paste)

4 or 5 Sprigs of Thyme stripped from the woody stem

1 TBS Curry (or to taste. I use 2 TBS)

2 TBS Buttah

Salt and White Pepper to Taste

¼ Cup Heavy Crème

¼ Cup White Wine

Soup

Pre-heat Oven to 375

Slice your squash in half and poke holes in the outer skin. Olive oil your sheet and all sides of the squash. Roll your carrots around in the olive oil. Roast for 45 minutes then allow to cool so they are handleable.

While that roasts dice your onion/shallot & garlic. Toss those all in a big ass stock pot on low with 2 to 4 TBS Olive Oil and 2 TBS buttah and swirl em around. The onions and garlic should get nice and translucent. Once everyone is well on their way add 1 cup of the stock and your Thyme, 1/2 of the curry, nutmeg, cinnamon and ginger. Simmer until everything is nice and soft. Add ¼ Cup Wine and ¼ cup half and half or real heavy cream (you may want to hold some back to get just the right consistency) and puree either with an Immersion blender or wait until you add the Roasted Squash* (which should be right about now) swirl it around so everyone is combined and blend it in batches in your blender. Make sure it's nice and smooth and throw it back in the pot to continue heating. Add stock to get just the right velvety consistency. Make sure it's not so thick it will burn in the bottom of the pan. I like to toss it in a crock pot and let it heat on low until I am ready to eat.

NOMNOMNOM.

This is a very sweet soup so make sure you have something tangy or savory to go with it. I added a dollop of soup cream but you could easily use Greek yogurt too, and The Scientist made Garlic Naan…. Mmmmmm. Or crispy fried sage leaves would be very tasty also….

Orrrr..... Parmessan crisps...... or Provalone Crisps....

Orrrr What would you suggest???

Remember that eating should ALWAYS be a Joy. Never, no matter how *bad*, don't enjoy some part of your food.

Does anyone else think it's weird Vegie Tales sing about eating bunnies?

2009-11-27T17:00:00Z

The Bunny, the bunny, whoa I love the bunny
I don't love my mom or my dad, just the bunny
The Bunny, the bunny, Yeah I love the bunny
I gave everything that I had for the bunny

I don't want no heath food when it's time to feed
A big bag o' bunnies is all that I need
I don't want no buddies to come out and play
I'll sit on my sofa eat bunnies all day
I wont go to church and I wont go to school,
that stuff is for sissys, but bunnies are cool!

Girls in backround:

I don't want no pickles, I don't want no honey, I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny
I don't want a tissue when my nose is runny, I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny
I don't want to tell you a joke that is funny, I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny
I don't want to play on a day that is sunny, I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny

The Bunny, the bunny, whoa I love the bunny
I don't love my mom or my dad, just the bunny
The Bunny, the bunny, Yeah I love the bunny
I gave everything that I ha-a-a-aaaad fo-or the bu-unneeee!!

Oh that bunny! He is ever sooooo tasty. I recently was at Qmart with my girlfriend and they had these pretty little bunnies in the deli case and I thought well, Why the heck not? Bon Appetit magazine had a bunny recipe recently! And I have time on my hands and have never had bunny, so I brought a bunny home. Here's what I did.

Take your bunny and turn him into Bunny Bits. I chopped his hoppers off (just like a chicken) then removed the flank steaks off the ribs and turned the spine into 2 pieces. Don't let that spine go to waste, there's loin meat under there. Rinse it all of and check it for fat and hair. Yeahhh.... Bunny Hair. Mix up a simple brine, salt, water, pepper corns, whole grain mustard, you don't need much. Make sure to soak this At Least! Minimum! 24 hours. Especially if it's a wild bunny. They are gamier.

Drain after it's been properly soaked and give it a good rinse. Pat it dry and start heating up your dutch on the stove top. Drizzle in a weeeee bit of olive oil and a teaspoon or so of garlic, just enough to cover the bottom of the pan. While that's warming dredge the bunny bits in some seasoned flour. Salt, fresh cracked black pepper, thyme and flour. Pop those right in the bottom of the pan and let it brown for 3 to 5 minutes per side. Slice a whole onion. Just slice it in half and make thin slices. Pull the bunny bits out of the pan and toss in the onions, a bit more garlic, maybe some added oil if it needs more moisture. Start browning the onions, once they get translucent toss in more flour to make a nice paste. Swirl it around until it's alllll nice and incorporated and put the bunny back in. Add about 1/4 to 1/2 cup of red wine.

MMmmmm...... start drooling. It smells divine.

Now add Chicken or Beef stock just to cover and put the lid on.

Hop that bunny right on in to the oven and let him get yummy for about 2 1/2 hours at 250 degrees. Low and slow, ya know?

After about 2 1/2 hours you can pull some of the juice out and make a lovely lovely gravy. Mix some cornstarch in and Wah-La! Hippity Hoppity Gravy!

I like to serve this with some roasted veggies with olive oil and kosher salt and a salad or some jasmine rice and broccoli.

Mmmmm yummy! Don't forget to boil down the remaining stock and freeze it. It's yummy yummy and would be great in beef stew later on. Keep the bones in the freezer for the next time you make more stock!

Here's the ingredients list.

A Bunny

An Onion

Flour

Red Wine

Chicken Stock

Salt, pepper, thyme, garlic, whole grain mustard

Olive Oil

Cornstarch

Big Ass Dutch.

That's it, that's all you need for a wonderful bunny meal!

Glumpies. Sounds Dirty but Oh Sooooo Goooooood!

2009-11-17T02:53:00Z

One Large Head of Cabbage, Cored
One Lb Of Beef
One Tube Of Sausage
1 Medium Onion, Diced Small
Garlic to taste
Salt & Pepper to taste
Worshirshire to taste
A TBS Smoked paprika
A Dash of Red Pepper flake
Bacon to drape across
1 large can Spagetti Sauce

(Most People Add day old, or cooled rice. I do not find it necessary.)

Set a Large pot on the stove to boil and drop in your cabbage. Boiling make the leaves more pliable and easier to peel off the head.

While that heats up mix snausage,onion, and all seasonings in a big bowl. Smoosh it together with your hands. It's FUN!

Make sure to have some Dawn dish soap on hand for washing your Phlangies. Hot water and Dawn takes the grease outta your way!

Pull some leaves off your cabbage keep them warm in the hot water but no need to cook them all the way. Just until they peel off the head easily and are bendy enough to roll up.

Take your casserole pan and you can do one of two things. Line the bottom with more cabbage leaves or just rub some veggie oil around to make sure they don't stick.

Grab a meat ball sized glob of meat and roll it into a oblong roll. Tuck it into a bendy cabbage leaf and roll it up tucking all the edges in like you are swadling a babe. A Meaty Meaty Babe....

Plop that bad boy into the casserole and continue until full. Once you have your dish full of meaty goodness drape uncooked bacon across the tops and dump a can o'basketti sauce over the top. Make sure everyone gets covered, you may have to add some water to the can and pour it over top.

Now tin foil the top and pop that baby in the oven at 350 for about an hour and twenty.

Make a salad and get some bread cuz now it's time to eaaaaaaat!

Super secret. If you have extra meat left over ( I always do) roll them up and plop them in muffin tins and bake em. It makes great meatballs too. You can freeze em and have meatball sammiches later! Pop em out of the freezer into a pan, pour some basketti sauce in there and reheat. Meatballs for Sammiches, or basketti!

Is it cold at your house? It's cold here....

2009-11-01T18:26:00Z

OK. That's it. It's cold and I don't like it. Not one bit! So we're gonna make some easy peasy chicken and dumplings. Super easy to make and very time efficient. Now if you've been paying any attention at all you should have all the stuff to make your own chicken stock, or have some frozen. Need a refresher? Go back and read the beginning of this one. No worries, I'll wait.

*elevator music*

OK! So now you are either getting your stock out, tossing all the stuff you've been saving into a pot (save your scraps dummy!), or are heating and using that canned crap. Note! If you are using the canned stuff get it on the stove and simmer it with much fresh thyme, sage and rosemary if you have it. Trust me.... it will make it allllll better! Here's the other crap you'll need o make this delishious warming food.

Chicken. Duh.
Celery
Carrots
Onion
Garlic
thyme, rosemary and sage. I just love that combo.
And a biscuit mix. Whatever you have will do. Or make your own!
I like herbed biscuits, but you could add cheese..... MMMMmmmmmmm.......

As your broth simmers and melds go ahead and choppity chop. Make everything a nice uniform size. Chop up all your fresh herbs, and dice the garlic too. 6 or so sage leaves, 6 or so thymes stripped from the woody stems, and 2 or 3 rosemaries stripped from the woody stems. Chop chop chop them into nice fine pieces. Mmmmm........

Toss your chicken and carrots in first. They need to cook longer than the other junk. Give em about 20 minutes or so before you toss in your soft veggies garlic and herbs. Reserve some of your herbs to put in the dumplings (or chop up some more), whatever combo you like. Bring it to a nice simmer and walk away for a bit. Maybe another 20 min or so...

Mix up your dumplings and toss in your herbs. Make sure your stuff is all thoroughly mixed.

Get 2 spoons and start dropping them into the simmering soup. Repete until all your mix is in and put a lid on it. Be careful you don't boil it over, but let it simmer until you see the little buggers popping back up to the top and floating. About 20 minutes to a half hour.

Now you eat!

That Scientists Special Dinnah

2009-10-24T22:03:00Z

I'd like to introduce someone to you. This is My Scientist.

She lives next door to me and has a dinosaur in a cage.

As a rule she's a pretty awesome lady.

You can tell cuz she lets me take pics of her in my dad's old wool suit. Pretty sweet, No?

She cooked for The Grump and I the other night and let me tell you, it was Fantastic! This might be the best way I have ever seen to use pork. Trust me it's awesome. Let me turn the typing over to her and she can tell you step by step how to make this dish.

This is an amazing recipe that makes people think you slaved for hours over a hot stove, when in reality, there's about 10 minutes total active time. Born out of my and my mothers love for all things pig related, this is an all-time favorite, and since it can be made the night before, it's great for parties when you don't want to do tons of work when yours guests are hanging around (that means more time for wine!). This recipe has a built-in cheat, which was added specifically with the party in mind. While you can make a real sauce out of the pan liquid, the spice packet does the trick just wonderfully, and has become part of my standard prep.

Whenever I made this for a party or a group of friends, I always get asked about how to make this, and everyone's always surprised at how simple it was. In fact, when I was in line at the grocery store buying goods to make this for Da Cook, I got into a conversation about what I was making with the checkout girl, and then was approached by the woman who was checking out in the line next to me. She came right up and said "repeat EVERYTHING you just said." I told her the recipe, and all wide-eyed, she said, "I'm going to make that this weekend!" It's just that good. Even strangers and checkout girls love it.

Pork Wrapped Pork Recipe

4 pork tenderloins
1 medium onion
1 jar whole grain French mustard
1/2lb bacon (specialty if possible, I prefer thinly sliced applewood smoked)
1 packet McCormick peppercorn or garlic steak sauce
salt &peppr

Preheat oven to 325. Rinse and pat dry pork tenderloins and trim excess fat. I usually remove the silverskin on the pork for my texture preference, but you don't have to. Don't remove all the fat though, that'll ruin the flavor. Place tenderloins in a roasting pan. If you're using a non-stick pan, put a little olive oil down first to make sure it doesn't stick. Season with salt (not too much) and pepper and spread a thick layer of mustard over the top of the tenderloins. Thinly slice the onion and put about 2/3 of the onions on the mustard covered tenderloins. Place bacon in layers over the top of the onions. Place the rest of the onions over the top of the bacon.

Place pork in the oven and roast for about 1-2 hours, depending on the thickness of the tenderloins. If you're using thick bacon, you can turn the heat up to 350 to get the bacon nice and crispy.

When the pork has finished cooking, remove it from the pan and slice it into 1" thick medallions (slice the bacon right on top of it, tongs help out a lot in this situation). Use the liquid from the pan to mix up the sauce packet per directions on the packet. I know the recipe calls for steak sauce, not pork sauce, but this is a tried and true addition.

Put the sliced pork and the sauce back in the roasting pan and toss together until coated. Cover the pan in foil and let it sit in the oven. If you have a lot of extra work for your side dishes at this point, I would turn the oven off to make sure it doesn't dry out. At this point, the pork is ready to serve whenever you are ready to eat it.

Notes:

I've made this dish the night before an event and it's held up perfectly. Cook as directed, slice and toss with sauce, and then refrigerate. The pork can then be reheated and served and it tastes as good if not better than fresh cooked. Time improves the flavor of the dish. It's also great as cold leftovers on a nice crusty roll the next day.

I like to try different kinds of specialty bacon for this dish. Check your butchers case and see what they have available. I usually buy the equivalent of about a 1.5-2 inch stack of slices of bacon. You can use more or less depending on taste preference.

Be careful with the amount of salt you add, because both the bacon and the sauce packet will add a good amount of salt to the dish.

So there you go! Go make pork and be fruitful!

French Apple Pie

2009-10-15T02:18:00Z

Ahhhh fall. Thanksgiving! Food! Putting on our 'Winter Coats' so to speak.

I don't think I know anyone who doesn't like Apple pie. Especially French Apple Pie. An this is designed to be served with a twist! Once it's out of the oven you serve it up side down!

As our beloved Shirley Temple might say..

Oh My Goodness.. Oh MY GOODness!

Here's the flavor factor!

Pie:

6 apples (I used 3 Granny Smith and 3 Mackintosh) I like to mix it up. I'm frisky like that.
1/2 Cup Granulated Sugar
1/2 Cup Brown Sugar
2 TBS of Flour
Vanilla, Cinnamon, Pumpkin Pie Spice to taste
Pre-made pie crust (The Heresy!)

Topping:

1 Cup of Pecans
1/2 Cup Brown Sugar
3 TBS Flour
4 TBS melted buttah

Parchment paper
Spring form pan

Peel and thinly slice all six apples. I like to take 2 big bowls into the living room and watch TV while I peel into one and slice the apples into the other. Just make sure to pay attention when you are slicing them so you don't poke yourself. No one likes blood in their pie.

Ok. Maybe Vampires and Stephen King. Maybe They Do. No one else though. Swear. 'Specially not Grandma's.

After your apples are peeled toss all the pie ingredients together.

Move along here. Nothing to see....

Grab your spring form pan and line it with one big sheet of parchment paper, waxy side up please. Pre-Heat Oven to 350.

In a separate bowl mix the brown sugah, pecans, flour, and butter until well incorporated. Pour it into the lined spring form pan and place Pre-made (I know I am such a cheater!) pie shell on top with edges hanging over (just slightly or as close as you can get).

Arrange apple slices in layers, don't just pour them in. Please layer them. The pie sets better, it cuts better and it holds up better if the slices are layered. I know it takes waaaaay longer than just dumping the bowl but you have a much prettier pie.

Once they are all in ( or almost all, I can never fit every last one) we need to stick the top on. Make sure to crimp the 2 together not over the lip of the Spring form. You'll want to take that part off at some point.

Poke some pretty (or not so pretty) holes in the top. Remember, ideally we are going to flip this bitch so the top becomes the bottom. Ideally!

Bake for about an hour.

In the last 10 min. or so do up an egg wash. What's an egg wash you ask?? Well, goodness sake! You take an egg and separate it from the yolk. Whisk the white with a little water until it's frothy. Get your BBQ brush and slime the top of your pie and dust with white sugar. It'll get shiny and sparkly. Bake the remaining 10 minutes and get her outta the oven.

Now you are done for about a day. Let it cool until it's chill enough to go in the fridge. Leave it cool over night.

This is where it becomes your choice. To flip or not to flip?? I opted not to flip it.

The next day (flipped or unflipped) you can pop the spring form ring. MMmmmm....

Slide the ring off and Voila! You have Deep Dish French Apple Upside Down Pie! (Or not so upside down... whatever!)

Serve with Vanilla ice cream and Hot Coffee with Heavy Cream. Mmmm.....

French Toast Puffs

2009-10-14T00:07:00Z

Ahhh breakfast! The most important meal of the day. Well, closer to brunch of me, but never you mind! We're going to talk about a delish little thing I call Stuffed French Toast Puffs. Oh you can make em sweet or savory, crispty crunchy or ooowey gooey, they're alllll Yummy In The Tummy. Today we're gonna talk about my sweet ones.

1 whole loaf Cinnamon Raisin Bread day old or toasted(With or Without Nuts!) Torn into bite size pieces
12 Eggs
1 Cup Milk (or heavy cream....Ohhh the richness!)
4 TBS Brown Sugah
2 TBS Vanilla
Cinnamon, nutmeg, pumpkin pie spice to taste. (At least 3 or 4 good shakes of each)

Delish Filling:

2 Bricks of Smooshy Cream Cheese
1 Cup Powdered Sugar
Cinnamon, nutmeg and pumpkin pie spice
1/3 Cup Frozen Berries

Start the night before and tear or cut your bread into chunks. Lay it all out in a single layer on a cookie sheet and let it air dry or pop in the oven at 200 and toss every 20 minutes until everyone is all crispity dry.

NOW! To the fun part! Get out your Jumbo Muffin Tin. (Should be 6 muffin holes) Gently grease each tin. Toss in enough bread pieces to cover or almost cover each bottom.

In a separate bowl whisk 6 eggs and pour in 1/2 cup milk, 1 TBS Vanilla, 2 TBS Brown Sugah and spices. Mmmmm..... Spices.

Spoon or drizzle egg mix over dry breads in the cup, no need to cover all the breads. We're gonna put stuff on top of them.

While they soak were gonna mix up the stuff to stuff em with, and it will be fan-tab-oulous!

Get another bowl (I know! Messy right?!?!) and toss your cream cheeses and give em a mix with your mixer until they aren't shaped like bricks anymore. Put in the 1/3 powdered sugar (at a time) along with the spices and vanilla until all incorporated. Taste an make sure it's sweet enough. You can alway add more sugar. God Knows Breakfast Needs More Sugar, right?
Once that's all mixy mixed gently fold in your berries. I like the frozen assortments, but not strawberries. Those chunks are too big.

Before you start dolloping your puffs take the remaining ingredients, 6 more eggs, milk, vanilla, spices and sugar and toss in the remaining bread bits. Make sure to give them a stir and get every one in the mix.

Pre heat oven to 350. Now, it's time to droooooooooooooool.

Dollop a hefty spot of cream cheese mix in the center of eeeeeach preeeeeetty muuffffiiiiiin.

Now reach your hand into that goooey mess of egg and bread mix. Pull out just enough for the top of every one. Then top them off with the liquid left in the bottom. Make sure they all get some.

Now pop em in the oven and bake them for about 25 minutes. Watch em. Just crispy on top and golden all over like french toast. MMMmmmm.....

Pop them outta the oven and slide those beauties out of the tin and place it on a lovely plate. You could put some Syrup on it or some jam. Either way, or plain they are Looooovely.

MMMmmmmmm.... brunch!

Cold Weather Food

2009-09-17T00:28:00Z

Oh Dear.

Good Grief.

My weather has already started changing.

Poo. I hate that.

I want to run behind summer shouting over the roar of the car motor "Don't move! Don't leave me! I love you" and Summer slowly dwindles in the distance waving her bright sunny arm all the while.

I hate that smell. You know the smell. You walk outside in the early morning or late night and you can smell fall, and sometimes even winter. Blah.

The only good thing about it getting colder is you get to eat hotter food. Heavier food. Mmmmm......

Shepards Pie

Chicken and Dumplings

Stews and Soups

Casseroles

And Lasagne.

            With Lusciuos, Buttery, Garlic Bread!

I like to make it the night before so I can throw it in the oven when I get home and in about a hour and a half I have dinner with no work!

Here's the stuff for a Big Ass Lasagne

1 lb Ground beef
1/2 lb Sweet Eye-talian Sausage (or whatever floats your boat, sausage-wise that is)
2 cans o'sauce of your choice
1 yegg
1 bag O'Shredded Monster-ella
Fresh Parm. About 1/2 cup
1 big ass container of Riccotta
                                                **************NOTE*******************
                                               Do Not Use Skim Milk Riccotta. You are just cheating youself.    If you use Cottage
                                               Cheese you should be shot. Why would you ruin your food intentionally????
                                               When you can answer that you cottage cheese users and I can talk.

Noodlies. Use regular ones and I'll teach you how to use em just like those fancy schmancy oven ready ones. I use about 3 per layer.
An Onion, diced
Garlic to Taste
Salt and Fresh Cracked Pepper
A drizzle o'Earl. Doesn't matter what kind really.

First, get your big noodle pot and fill it with hot ass water and toss your noodles in to soak. No heat or boiling nesessary. A possible water change is though. You want them pretty flexy and pliable, but not boiled soft.

As your noodlies soak, fry up your onions and garlic for 3 or 4 minutes, the toss in your beef and snausage. Make sure to mash with a fork the whole time. Snausage can turn into a lump. Once cooked drain in a collander.

Place your pan back on the stove and pour in a container of sauce, refill the container 1/4 with water and pour in. Toss in your drained meat.

                                                    Huh. hahaha..... HA. I said Drained Meat. I make myself laugh like a 12 year old boy.

Stir it around then pour in your other can o'sauce reserving 1/4 in the can. Stir again.

Dump your ricotta into a mixing bowl, salt, pepper, garlic powder and your yegg. Stir until well combined.

Now! YOU ARE READY TO CREAAAAAAATTTTTTEEEEEE!

Drizzle about 2 TBS of Earl into your casserole and smear it around with a paper towel. Make sure to get the sides. DISCARD TOWEL. Duh.

Toss is the reserved sauce and shake dish until evenly distributed on the bottom o'pan.

Layer in 3 noodles and top with Riccotta mix. I find using a rubber scraper to smear the cheese mix on the noodles. It takes some finness, them noodles are slippery bastards.

Sprinkle with Monster-ella and layer with more noodlies. Then add in your super awesome meat sauce. Make sure it's covered pretty well. Dust with your parm. Ok. Pour it all in. Add more monster-ella and noodles.

Now. This is a personal choice. I like to add more sauce and dollop the rest of the riccotta mix on. You could certainly change that and do Riccotta first then top with sauce.

Either way I like to cover it in foil and refridgerate it over night before I bake it. Let everything get all smooshy together and friendly like.

When I get home from work the next day I get a cookie sheet out and put the lasagne on it.

Pop it in the overn and let it warm up with your oven. I cook at 350 for about an hour and a half. That last half hour I pull the foil off and top with Monsterella.

Drool and do the hungryhungry dance.

Make the Garlic bread.

Your stuff:

1/2 Loaf Crust Eye-talian or French bread. Preferably, fresh.

1 Whole Stick o'Buttah

3 TBS of chopped garlic. I like the jarred crap.

1 teaspoon Garlic powder. Oh yes. You want it.

1 tsp Salt and a little fresh cracked pepper. 3 or 4 twists on the cracker.

More Monster-ella

Leave your buttah out to soften. Nice and smooshy. Don't microwave it if you can help it. I'm convinced it does something to the butter, seperates it somehow.

Toss your garlic, garlic powder, salt and pepper into the butter and smear it around until well combined.

Cut your bread in half and smear the garlic goodness on there. Mmmmmmm.... pop it in the oven to toast up.

Go back and sit in your chair and cry becausse you houe smells wonderful.

Start checking after 10 minutes and pull the lasgane out of the oven to let it rest. Just like meat.

Once the bread browns a wee bit, about 15 minutes pop it out and cover the top in monster-ella and back in the oven.

OMG OMG. Wait. Find something to do. Bite your nails. Work out.

As soom as the cheese has melted and browned up just a touch pull it out and you can eat.

Finally.

It's awesome.

In your mouth. NOMNOMNOM.